“I don’t want to hear the specials. If they’re so special, put ’em on the menu.”
~ Jerry Seinfeld
I love product warnings about obvious things and I wonder if they’ve ever stopped a single injury. I figure if you’re not smart enough to figure it out on your own, you’re probably not smart enough to heed a warning. – Assuming you’re able to read in the first place.
Of course, the reality is that these stickers aren’t put on products to warn stupid people. They are put on to protect companies from lawsuits from stupid people.
I spotted this warning a few years ago in an office building and just recently uncovered it as I was combing through old iPhone photos:
“Many religions now come before us with ingratiating smirks and outspread hands, like an unctuous merchant in a bazaar. They offer consolation and solidarity and uplift, competing as they do in a marketplace. But we have a right to remember how barbarically they behaved when they were strong and were making an offer that people could not refuse.”
The chain we use to hang our hammock has gotten tight as the trees have grown. I decided to replace them with webbing. So, along with a number of other items, I ordered two climbing slings at the same time.
I received a few boxes including one each for the webbing slings. It was actually depressing: I felt like I burned an acre of rainforest.
“Thus mystery is made a convenient cover for absurdity.”
I’ve been doing some significant reorganization which has required combing through lots of stuff I haven’t looked at for ages. Among some of the containers I found old drawings. Here are two that I did – probably when I was in eighth grade. I’m pretty sure that the drawings that I did then would not pass the new ‘zero-tolerance’ standards of today’s schools. but I turned out alright. Mostly.
“Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.”
Happy 17th Anniversary my dear old website.
Another year and this website will be the age of consent. They grow up so fast.
“I still blog, but I do think blogging will become obsolete, as there are more ways of interacting on the Web with low barriers to entry for people to engage and participate.”
~ Biz Stone
“I think blogging, by and large, is basically therapy. And I’m sure, and I know, that there are some terrific bloggers and some legitimate bloggers. But I think, by and large, a huge percentage of people who are blogging are doing it for self-therapy.”
“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”
I love the little oddities that get uncovered by watching old TV shows. On the treadmill the other day, I was watching an episode of The Andy Griffith Show where Andy has an argument with Peggy and Barney tries to make things better by setting him up with another girl. Naturally, the girl is a train-wreck mismatch culminating in this line of dialog which caused me to stop my run and take a photo of the screen.
“‘Time does not tarry ever,’ he said; ‘but change and growth is not in all things and places alike. For the Elves the world moves, and it moves both very swift and very slow. Swift, because they themselves change little, and all else fleets by: it is a grief to them. Slow, because they do not count the running years, not for themselves. Yet beneath the Sun all things must wear to an end at last.'”
The Great River
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Lord of the Rings
I like watching old TV shows before I got to bed. Something about them helps me relax. So, I’ve been queuing up random shows in the DVR including Hogan’s Heroes, Columbo, Different Strokes among others.
The shows are wonderful time capsules: often with hidden marvels. – Sometimes the shows are remarkably clever, others are so bad that it’s stunning to imagine how many people tuned into these shows for years. This latter point brings me to The Love Boat: a show that ran for nine years – from May 5, 1977, until May 24, 1986 (with three-hour specials aired in 1986–87 and 1990).
The episode that I recorded had a trifecta title, “Miss Mom/Who’s the Champ/Gopher’s Delusion“. It was first released on February 1, 1986.
The cast was surreal. My, how some things have changed…
IMDB credits Caitlyn Jenner as the wrestler “Lover Boy Bob” (as Bruce Jenner).
In the story arc, “Who’s the Champ”, Lover Boy Bob is wooing another wrestler’s sister. And both wrestlers Lover Boy and the ‘The Mangler’ Sharkey (played by Tim Rossovich) are smacked around by none other than Hulk Hogan before the sister, Linda Sharkey (played by Jennifer Holmes) settles the dispute by locking them into a steam room together.
And of course, the show wouldn’t be complete without the patron saint of shark jumping: Ted McGinley.
“Love, exciting and new
Come Aboard. We’re expecting you.
And Love, life’s sweetest reward.
Let it flow, it floats back to you.
Love Boat soon will be making another run
The Love Boat promises something for everyone
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new romance.
And Love won’t hurt anymore
It’s an open smile on a friendly shore.
Welcome Aboard. It’s LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!”
“The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.”
Doing some more organizing around the house which means more bins and labels!
I have to say, this warning label has saved me from a lot of embarrassing situations…
Seriously though: every hospital should have to show this label to every parent of a newborn before allowing the parents to take the baby home. The parents should be asked if they find the label useful. If the answer is, ‘yes’, then they should not be allowed to take the kid home. *
* Editorial Note: Yes, I’m being glib about a warning that almost certainly has arisen from some very sad circumstances. – I’m just not sure that such a label is ever going to make a difference in such cases.
~ Editorial Note 2: I think I may have written about this before but it never ceases to strike me as surreal. Apologies for any redundancies.
“There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.”
Three of my favorite things: organized Sterilite and Hefty containers, my Model PT-D40 Brother Label Maker and Halloween severed heads.
“National boundaries are not evident when we view the Earth from space. Fanatical ethnic or religious or national chauvinisms are a little difficult to maintain when we see our planet as a fragile blue crescent fading to become an inconspicuous point of light against the bastion and citadel of the stars.”
~ Carl Sagan, Cosmos
I wanted to write a post expressing my frustration and outrage at the train wreck of modern conservative politics, but I just finished a long post on my password protected Friends and Family section and I’m out of steam. These things need said: flares of distress need sent up. Spotlights of attention must be shone. Drums pounded. Voices raised.
But we must also breath… And so, here at the end of the year, I share with you a moment of Zen and I hope that the New Year sees a turn of the tide.
This is a photo I took of Rainbow Bridge this September. – A rainbow of stone that is surely weathered but that stands in the sunlight in spite of the time. Perhaps a metaphor for our hearts.
“Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.”
As IMDB says about this humanist movie, “Two teenage Brooklyn Hasidic schoolgirls, unable to live under the strict rules of their community take the family car and run away across America to find what they assume will be the life of total freedom that lies beyond their insular world. They discover that a world where they don’t understand the game is more dangerous than a world with too many rules, and they try to make their way in a new context, under new identities, and within an entirely new lifestyle.”
I’m looking forward to the next movie by from the same directing, writing, producer team.