Tag Archive: Humor

Mar 31

Google Home-Freshner

Air Freshener on WIndow Sill

I noticed this sitting window sill at the office.   Don’t let anyone kid you. The Google Home isn’t nearly as good as the Amazon Echo. I must have asked it 20 questions and it didn’t answer me once. I do have to give it credit though: the office never smelled fresher.

Mar 09

High Security

Combination lock with security code sticker still on the back

As posted via the Twitter feed of Deadville and spotted on a locker in a public gym. Save

Feb 07

Dive Right In

Report all conditions involving vomitus, fecal contamination or unsafe conditions to the management immediately,

The fact that signs like this are deemed necessary is exactly why I avoid public swimming pools.   Do you think someone chose the term, ‘vomitus’ because it sounded more, classical, more Roman perhaps than just straight, ‘vomit’? Be sure that it’s fecal contamination and not just plain-old feces that might be just laying around the pool. …

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Oct 25

Trumpster Fire

Donald Trump Dumpster Fire aka Trumpster Fire

Dump Trump We’re on the cusp of the election and it looks like Donald Trump is going down in flames. Beyond all of his lies, beyond the misogyny, xenophobia and calls for violence , Trump’s latest trick is to attempt undermining the foundation of our democracy: the expectation of a fair and honest election. There is …

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Jul 31

Camp Cow or Brazen Bull

How it Works: The Brazen Bull

Buy a Brazen Bull for your next Lawn and Torture Party I have a fondness for lawn ornaments – as long as they are in other people’s yards and preferably not next door neighbors. On my drive home from work, I encountered a roadside collection of custom made metal yard decorations and I had to stop …

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Mar 30

Clown and Pig have Bad Intentions

Stuffed Clown and Pig with Bad Intentions

Have you ever watched a horror film that depicted a possessed or evil doll and thought that it stretches credulity to think that anybody would ever buy such a creepy looking toy in real life? Well, wonder no more. I spotted these two evil stuffed toys leering out from the bin of an arcade claw …

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Feb 29

Fit to be Tied

Trying to increase my fitness, I’ve been working out six to seven days a week, for 30-90 minutes a day. – A pretty respectable workout routine. And yet, in spite of the fact that I’m going out of my way to pick up weights and run, I get very irritated anytime I forget my water …

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Jan 23

Elven and Hobbit Power Tools

Funny Elves and Hobbit Power Tool Recommendations from Amazon

Amazon recommendations for me under, “Power & Hand Tools”. Oh Amazon! You know me so well!

Nov 13

Travel Tip for Parents

A traveling tip for parental units: When the airport luggage carousel is jam pack surrounded with adults trying to get their bags, you’d be wise to move the little kiddies away from the machinery instead of letting them play with it, occupying a much needed spot. Alternatively: keep your mouth shut if your spawn gets …

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Aug 30

Based on Your Browsing History, Amazon Recommends…

Based on Your Browsing History, Amazon Recommends...

I take a perverse satisfaction in these screen captures from my Amazon account. Taken as a group, they paint quite the picture. A motion activated light A dustbuster Wireless video camera with night vision A life sized animatronic clown 12 D-Cell Batteries Mask Latex Cable Splitter Sounds like the making of a hell of a …

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Jul 12

June 2015 – Quote of the Month

Reality has a well-known liberal bias. ~Stephen Colbert

May 31

Only the Essentials Vending Machine

From a vending machine in the Toronto airport - only the essentials - pain killer, condoms, breath mints and tattoos

Spotted in the men’s room of the Toronto airport – everything you need for an evening out.

Apr 27

Princess with Medium Skin Tone

Princess with Medium Skin Tone Apple Emoji

I often use Apple’s iPhone Siri to read texts to me. When receiving an emoticon, she describes it. And so I was greatly amused when I received a text with an Apple princess emoji and Siri described her as, “Princess with Medium Skin Tone“. I think that should be the title for the next Disney …

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Feb 28

What Color is the Pill?

What color is the dress? (Blue and Black.)

Feb 21

January 2015 – Quote of the Month

Man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, then steps in it. ~ John Steinbeck, Sweet Thursday

Dec 30

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Whereas others have decorated their house for the winter holidays – namely, christmas, we’ve kept the arachnid Halloween decorations up in our entryway – Cirith Ungol (Sindarin for Spider’s Cleft, or Pass of the Spider). All Photos by Yours Truly – Glen Green. Click on images to see larger versions. In a ravine she lived, …

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Sep 29

Giving Up the Ghost from Sticker Shock

Gift shop ghost decoration

I was in a gift shop at a nearby hospital the other day, and since I’ve been keeping my eye out for Halloween decorations, I spotted this little, 3 inch tall ghost:   Not much to it: a cotton ball, black cutout paper eyes and mouth and a small piece of sheer white netting. Not …

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Aug 31

The Driving Dead

Although I dearly, dearly love summer I’m already thinking and planning for Halloween. On the negative side, I’m spending way too much on Halloween decorations. On the plus side, I now expect to drive in the HOV lane thanks to my new copilot.

Jun 24

Mow With Attitude

Shopping at the local Farm and Tractor store, I found myself eyeballing a zero turn tractor. (Such is my life these days.) My eye was caught by the ‘Elite’ ‘Bad Boy’ lawn mower. Looking closer I came to the tractor’s control panel… “Mow With Attitude”. Everyday I’m reminded that we live in a surreal world. …

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May 30

Beware the Pond

It’s very nice of the tree to warn us. (Sighted outside of a church wedding this month.)

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