The other day, I took a nap and had a very vivid dream. Upon waking up, I used my phone’s voice to text to write down what I’d just been dreaming. Here-in follows that transcription with minor clean-up for clarity and ease of understanding: Thursday, April 25. I just woke up. I’m using voice to …
Tag: Humor
Mar 31
Walkie Talkie Kwai
The 15th episode, ‘Kung Fu’ from season 3 entitled, ‘The Forbidden Kingdom’ first aired January 18, 1975. The episode is a prequel of sorts, showing the Shaolin priest Kwai Chang Caine’s efforts to escape from China as the Emperor’s troops persue him in revenge for the killing of the Emperor’s nephew. Although this is ostensibly …
Jul 18
I buy civilization
I saw Mister Silverado on the road a number of days ago. Full disclosure: I didn’t actually see the driver, but I’m highy confident it was indeed a, ‘Mister’. The window sticker, ‘TAXATION IS THEFT‘ is what made the encounter noteworthy. There are some trivial times in one’s life that a person fantasizes about having …
Feb 26
Beware of Doctor Bellfield
When one thinks of the Brady Bunch, they probably conjure storylines depicting wholesome family values. Odd then when Alice doesn’t call the authorities to report their neighbor as quite probably a pedophile. At least there were boundaries. – Apparently Carol and Mike need to approve any and all, ‘X-rated swimming pools.’ Trivia: This scene where …
Sep 29
A Murder of Bats
Instead of world news commentary, here is a piece of inane trivia that I observed one evening while watching a rerun of Columbo. From season 9, episode 6 entitled, ‘Murder in Malibu‘ which was released in May 14, 1990: I wonder how much time was spent looking through stock film before the producers said, ‘Ah, …
Apr 28
More Arbitrary Amazon Parcel Packaging
Got nothing witty to say here. The picture says it all: just another remarkable example of Amazon packaging failure.
Jan 31
Arbitrary Amazon Parcel Packaging
Amazon is a huge company that puts in an amazing amount of effort and intelligence to make for great online shopping experiences. But the capricious nature of Amazon’s packing frequently amazes me. A recent case in point: one order of coffee (about $20 value) and an order of two external hard drives (about $500 value). …
Dec 16
Creepy Cat
This month’s Pressed for Time Post™ ®© leads us to a screen shot from Season 2, Episode 19 (44th overall episode), “The Liberation of Marcia Brady“. In this episode, Marcia is interviewed by a TV reporter on her thoughts on women’s liberation. When she gets home, her family gathers around to see her on TV. …
Nov 29
OSHA Compliant Heater
Went back in the photo vault to April 2004 for this one. This floor heater and sign were spotted in a West Virginia campground bathhouse. The bathhouse burned down some years later. Coincidence?
Sep 18
Gun Shy
Security Theater amuses and frustrates me. Today’s random photo from the vault was taken at Bangalore Palace, October 31, 2015. Here is a simultaneously funny and scary example of Security Theater: an unattended rifle, leaning, rather precariously against a shrub. I watched for some time: no sign of the guard. What could possibly go wrong? …
Aug 24
Flamenco Raccoon Kitsch
When writing a post title, I try to think of something witty, or at least punny while also being succinct. Alas, I couldn’t think of how to encapsulate this post with anything pithy. Maybe, my difficulty stems from the fact that I’m writing this with an insomniac brain starting at 3:30am. But I’m going to …
Jul 29
Pro God Pro Gun Pro Life
Spotted in the parking lot of a local store: I especially like the extra special logical incongruity of the ‘Pro Gun’ pistol barrel pointing at the ‘Pro Life’ heart. The woman who (apparently) owned the vehicle was about mid-30s. White. She had a huge bag of dog food that I helped her heave into the …
Feb 28
Gleam Your Evening
Some text spam makes you feel like you’re missing out. I’ve never been ‘gleamed” before. It sounds so dirty and erotic. But it is nice to know that three strangers (Lippke, “I” and Layla) can surely sense that this link could gleam my evening. And it’s cute that they have a pet name for me, …
Dec 31
Christmas Kitsch
As I’ve noted before, I’m rather a fan of yard Kitsch. (As long as its in other people’s yards, not mine and not my next door neighbors. [- It’s more of an, ‘admire from afar’ appreciation.]) So, it was with some enjoyment that I share this house. Every year, it’s good for some amusement. But …
Jul 29
Five Feet Nine Inches
My better half and I know, or at least highly suspect that among most of our friends, we’re the considered the crazy germaphobes. Visiting Home Depot tonight, we saw a woman pushing her cart around without a mask. (In spite of the BIG sign on the store front that says masks are mandatory.) We grumbled …
Jun 30
Faith, Hand-washing, Compost Trespassing and Milk Drinking
Some more sights from a neighborhood walk I did in mid April. Again: I wonder at people’s thought processes. This is a decently maintained property. (Although the garage looks a bit nicer than the house, interestingly enough.) There is an interesting combination of earnestness and humor.
May 31
Yard Adornments
In pursuit of some level of exercise, I have occasion to walk local neighborhoods. There are little, implied stories in the neighborhood yards. I’m rather found of yard kitsch. There is a story here, if only we can read it. Here is one such story: This is the front yard of a house. The lawn …
Apr 26
Exposed Exposé
Watching news on YouTube yesterday, I was amused by a little detail I noticed in the background of a video of Alex Ward, a VOX staff writer, as he was giving a report to CBS News. In the video, Mr. Ward is well besuited as he outlines the latest speculation on Jong-un’s health from his …
Jan 28
Single Rubber Glove
I started to write an entry on the state of news and the world of politics but I felt the life force draining from my body, so I’ve shelved that. Let’s just say: it’s bad and we’re all doomed and leave it at that for now. However, in a matter that somehow feels vaguely like …
Sep 30
Fire Photon Elevators
As I’m want to do, I was watching an old episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show late one evening. The episode was, “Christmas and the Hard-Luck Kid II“. In it, Mary is alone in the news room late on Christmas Eve. Someone has entered the building and she’s frightened, jamming the door with a …
Aug 23
Stoned
In February of this year, I visited the local Science Center and was amused by this dispenser, set out-side of the gift shop. Above the dispenser was a sign that these were ‘gems from around the world‘. Clearly, something had happened because the original signage for the dispenser was supplemented after it had gone to …
Jun 28
Tautologies Subject to Tautology
Searching for humidifiers on Amazon one day, I came across this very philosphical description of size.
Mar 31
The Hit and Run Breakfast
The humor in today’s video, speaks, I think, for itself. (But then again: I have a robust, dark sense of humor: so your mileages may vary.) This snippet is from Dragnet, The Hit-and-Run Driver which first aired April 6, 1967. In this snippet, Joe Friday (Jack Webb) and his partner Bill Gannon (Harry Morgan) meet …
Feb 26
Did Peter Make a Peter Joke?
Continuing my observations of watching late night reruns, today I bring you a shocking Brady Bunch double entendre. In this scene, Peter storms in, thinking his brother Greg has taken the girl he wants to date. At first, he only calls Greg a, ‘rat’. After confronting Greg, Peter basically calls his brother a big putz …
Jan 31
Mike Brady’s AT-AT
In my efforts to ease my mind into sleep at night, I like to watch older TV shows. I find little easter eggs in them. Some quasi-historical, most TV trivial, and some musings of my imagination. And it is from the latter, that I bring you an episode (#17) of the Brady Bunch, “Coming Out …
Nov 30
Iceland’s Steinahellir Cave Signs
Along the road, In the south of Iceland, near the Bay of Holtsós is a small cave. The cave is not very deep: little more than an alcove. It is so shallow, in fact that it gets enough light that the entirety of the cave is overgrown with ferns and moss. The small grotto is …
Sep 26
Carol’s Dating Didn’t Go Well After Mike Brady Left the Family
Things were rough for Carol and the Brady family after Mike Brady left.
Sep 18
August 2018 – Quote of the Month
“I don’t want to hear the specials. If they’re so special, put ’em on the menu.” ~ Jerry Seinfeld
Aug 21
Insect Screens Will Not Stop Children from Falling Out of Windows
I love product warnings about obvious things and I wonder if they’ve ever stopped a single injury. I figure if you’re not smart enough to figure it out on your own, you’re probably not smart enough to heed a warning. – Assuming you’re able to read in the first place. Of course, the reality is that …
Jun 30
Dismembered Drawings
I’ve been doing some significant reorganization which has required combing through lots of stuff I haven’t looked at for ages. Among some of the containers I found old drawings. Here are two that I did – probably when I was in eighth grade. I’m pretty sure that the drawings that I did then would not …
May 22
17 Years of Whistling into the Wind
Happy 17th Anniversary my dear old website. Another year and this website will be the age of consent. They grow up so fast. “I still blog, but I do think blogging will become obsolete, as there are more ways of interacting on the Web with low barriers to entry for people to engage and participate.” …
Apr 23
Mayberry STD
I love the little oddities that get uncovered by watching old TV shows. On the treadmill the other day, I was watching an episode of The Andy Griffith Show where Andy has an argument with Peggy and Barney tries to make things better by setting him up with another girl. Naturally, the girl is a train-wreck …
Mar 31
The Love Boat Promises Something for Everyone
I like watching old TV shows before I got to bed. Something about them helps me relax. So, I’ve been queuing up random shows in the DVR including Hogan’s Heroes, Columbo, Different Strokes among others. The shows are wonderful time capsules: often with hidden marvels. – Sometimes the shows are remarkably clever, others are so bad that …
Mar 08
February 2018 – Quote of the Month
“The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.” ~Oscar Wilde
Feb 28
Nobody Puts Baby in a Box
Doing some more organizing around the house which means more bins and labels! I have to say, this warning label has saved me from a lot of embarrassing situations… Seriously though: every hospital should have to show this label to every parent of a newborn before allowing the parents to take the baby home. The …
Jan 24
Containers, Label Makers and Severed Heads
Three of my favorite things: organized Sterilite and Hefty containers, my Model PT-D40 Brother Label Maker and Halloween severed heads.
Sep 28
Seasonal Candy
Halloween candy spotted in a store. “So what? – it’s September 28th! ‘Tis the season!“, you say. The photo was taken on July 31st. (I kid you not.) On second thought, maybe it was just very late candy from last year…
Jul 27
Lettuce Spellcheck
I’ve never been a great speller, but c’mon! – Eat ‘n Park missed the pun, “Salad Bar, Can’t be Beet! Let-Us Eat”!
May 30
Fluffy Pillow or ET Arms
Shopping at a local Sears Outlet, my eye was caught by a comfy looking pillow. Looking closer, I see that the manufacturer was kind enough to provide an illustrated guide on how to use the pillow. Looking closer yet, I noticed the girl with the E.T. Arms. Ouuuuch… (PS. * Yes: I know, the pillow …
Mar 31
Google Home-Freshner
I noticed this sitting window sill at the office. Don’t let anyone kid you. The Google Home isn’t nearly as good as the Amazon Echo. I must have asked it 20 questions and it didn’t answer me once. I do have to give it credit though: the office never smelled fresher.
Mar 09
High Security
As posted via the Twitter feed of Deadville and spotted on a locker in a public gym. Save
Feb 07
Dive Right In
The fact that signs like this are deemed necessary is exactly why I avoid public swimming pools. Do you think someone chose the term, ‘vomitus’ because it sounded more, classical, more Roman perhaps than just straight, ‘vomit’? Be sure that it’s fecal contamination and not just plain-old feces that might be just laying around the pool. …
Oct 25
Trumpster Fire
Dump Trump We’re on the cusp of the election and it looks like Donald Trump is going down in flames. Beyond all of his lies, beyond the misogyny, xenophobia and calls for violence , Trump’s latest trick is to attempt undermining the foundation of our democracy: the expectation of a fair and honest election. There is …
Jul 31
Camp Cow or Brazen Bull
Buy a Brazen Bull for your next Lawn and Torture Party I have a fondness for lawn ornaments – as long as they are in other people’s yards and preferably not next door neighbors. On my drive home from work, I encountered a roadside collection of custom made metal yard decorations and I had to stop …
Mar 30
Clown and Pig have Bad Intentions
Have you ever watched a horror film that depicted a possessed or evil doll and thought that it stretches credulity to think that anybody would ever buy such a creepy looking toy in real life? Well, wonder no more. I spotted these two evil stuffed toys leering out from the bin of an arcade claw …
Feb 29
Fit to be Tied
Trying to increase my fitness, I’ve been working out six to seven days a week, for 30-90 minutes a day. – A pretty respectable workout routine. And yet, in spite of the fact that I’m going out of my way to pick up weights and run, I get very irritated anytime I forget my water …
Jan 23
Elven and Hobbit Power Tools
Amazon recommendations for me under, “Power & Hand Tools”. Oh Amazon! You know me so well!
Nov 13
Travel Tip for Parents
A traveling tip for parental units: When the airport luggage carousel is jam pack surrounded with adults trying to get their bags, you’d be wise to move the little kiddies away from the machinery instead of letting them play with it, occupying a much needed spot. Alternatively: keep your mouth shut if your spawn gets …
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